(And then showed some surprise stupidity, by fondling all the infected with her bare hands. Perhaps, Worst Banshee Ever, Lydia should take some lessons in Death Intuition from her Mommy Dearest, who showed some surprise brilliance in being the first person to determine that the rashes that were appearing on students and teachers alike were, in fact, the trademark signs of a deadly disease. Most of those high school dramas, however, don’t start their Very Special PSAT Episodes off with a massive outbreak of a deadly virus. It’s a rite of passage for many a high school drama. are just your average mid twenty-somethings, who have been playing high school students for the last five years of their lives (two and a half of which has been spent on their ridiculously long junior year). With Daraches, Kanimas, Death Destroyers of Worlds, Assassins without Mouths, and Evil Japanese spirits on their tail each week, it’s sometimes easy to forget that Scott, Stiles and Co. (You’ll have to excuse Satomi for not calling or texting first. apparently, “trying to hack your weiner off with a sword” is a traditional Japanese Werewolf Greeting. Ĭue the slow-mo Matrix homage to techo music. ĭeaton is trying to lock up shop for the evening when he is attacked by a black hooded avenger skilled in the art of Samurai. ![]() ![]() the only place where the entrance to the local vet’s office, looks just as ominous and foreboding as the entrance to the nuthouse. “Thanks, but I’m pretty much the only veterinarian on TV, since that sitcom starring the talking monkey got cancelled after two episodes.”īeacon Hills. Meanwhile over at everyone’s favorite veterinarian’s office. After all, she has been a coyote for the last eight years of her life.) (You’ll have to excuse Malia for not calling or texting first. Malia runs up to Scott’s room unannounced to tell Scott and Stiles that Satomi’s back is mostly / almost all dead, and that Derek is currently carrying future love interest Braeden to the hospital like the BAMF he is. they just don’t know what they are missing.) ![]() (Remember the good old days, where a night of fun for teenagers was a good old fashioned keggar at the house of a kid whose parents are away for the weekend, the possibility of underage sex, and a night filled with generalized debauchery and really bad choices? *sigh* Kids today. Just think about how many t-shirts with whimsical sayings on them Stiles could buy with half a million dollars! Meanwhile, back at the McCall house, Scott has stolen his mom’s old cassette player, so he and Stiles can listen to instructions on how to murder half the population of Beacon Hills, while staring at a sh*t ton of money in a duffelbag, and contemplating stealing $500,000 from one of their closest friends. Needless to say, I don’t think this scene will make it on to this actor’s Sizzle Reel. One would think that letting the virus loose in an open space would be child’s play in comparison to that. Now, I understand that this scene was meant to set the stage for The Chemist’s mass infection of our Scooby Gang with Zombie Werewolf Disease, but, logically, why was it necessary for our Assassin of the Week to use a random no-name wolf as his Crash Test Dummy? Hadn’t he already confirmed his virus a success after massacring an ENTIRE PACK OF WEREWOLVES in the open woods? I’ll call it Mountain Ash R’Us, and it’s going to make me enough money to retire in two years tops. (Screw recapping, I’m going to move to Beacon Hills and start a side business selling Mountain Ash to assorted evil-doers. “That’s Sir Tea-Drinking Douchebag to you!” Just when we think you’ve abandoned us for dead, you show up in some tea-drinking douchebag’s laboratory. ))Ĭaught between some rocks/ash and a hard place. In short, this was basically the Cabin Fever of Teen Wolf episodes. You know like the fear of catching some strange incurable disease for a reason completely unknown to you, and dying a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad death that is sure to leave you with a disgusting corpse no undertaker could fix. The chemist (who, by the way, so much resembled one of my high school English teachers, that it was truly frightening) taps into our more deep seated fears, the kind of fears we don’t talk about at parties. and people who looked like the kid from Home Alone. While his predecessors preyed on the viewers’ basic fears of things like. In all fairness though, The Chemist was not your run-of-the-mill One Episode Baddie. In a season that was in grave danger of becoming the Assassin of the Week, Teen Wolf decided to change things up a bit this past Monday, by. (Coming soon to a high school located on a Hellmouth Beacon near you. Just when you thought it was safe to take your PSATs.
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